Don't Go!
by xxWfCPxx
Summary: SasoSaku. SasorixSakura. Oneshot for Valentines Day 2009. Sakura, haunted in her dreams by the face of the man she killed almost six months ago, returns to the cave where she last saw him. What will she find there? Love, hate, indifference? Rated T, not M


Hello!

I won't make this authors note too long because the fic itself is long anyway. Basically it's a SasoSaku oneshot I wrote because I like the pairing and wanted to get something out for Valentines Day. I enjoyed writing it (to a certain degree anyway) so I hope you enjoy reading it. It's officially Valentines Day here in England so have fun everyone!

**Disclaimer**: _I don't own Naruto or any of the characters it encompasses._

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The desert was so cold at night and, even though she had found a space between several large rocks to lie down in so that some of the wind was buffeted away from her, Sakura was still freezing. The Konohagakure sleeping bag simply wasn't warm enough for a cold desert night in the middle of February. Naruto was sleeping barely a metre away from her to her left, his arms sprawled out in his usual fashion although his body was involuntarily twitching from the cold because of it. Sakura, of course, was huddled inside her sleeping bag so that as much of her was covered as possible, staring up at the stars with the glittering emerald eyes that poked out of the top of the brown-coloured material. It was a clear night, merely adding to the bitterness of the air around them, but Sakura found some comfort in picking out the constellations that she knew. There was the North star over to her right - and just to the right of it was the plough. Often, when she couldn't sleep, she would stare up into the sky above Konoha and pick out the familiar constellations. Recently she had come to know the stars very well.

_I haven't been able to sleep much lately,_ Sakura thought with a sigh. She was tired and grew increasingly so with each night - because each night she would wake up a few hours after she'd shut her eyes, sweating and scared. She supposed she was having nightmares, but they weren't what she would normally class as nightmares. At sixteen (which was Sakura's age) it is natural for both boys and girls to have sensual or erotic dreams about people or objects they desire and Sakura knew this - but it wasn't the _type_ of dream that scared her as opposed to the _object_ of the weird fantasies.

Almost six months ago she had begun to see his face when she closed her eyes and sometimes when she had them open as well. She had passed this off though as her simply being distressed over her first real kill. Of course she had killed others - but they had been easy and insignificant; just bland, impersonalised enemies. _He_ had been different though. She had known his past when she fought him. She knew his name, she heard him speak and saw his work and his incredible power. She had even been fighting with his grandmother! To have killed someone so powerful - someone who had even defeated the third Kazekage - it had seemed so incredible to Sakura back then that it had been no wonder to her that his face kept flashing in front of her eyes, reminding her of her great victory.

Yet as time passed Sakura began to think there was something more to it than just her triumphant approach to her victory. Perhaps she had formed some kind of bond with the S-class missing nin when she had fought him; after all, it had been a very exhilarating, difficult and close fight. So she had sat down then and replayed the whole fight through her mind again in the hope of finding an answer as to why she was haunted by his face. For some reason her heart had beaten faster just thinking about it, as if she was physically reliving the fight and not just mentally, but she could find no answer to her previous question and, instead of solving the problem, it made it worse. No longer was it just his still-life face coming again and again to stare at her accusingly, but she began to see whole sections of the battle; the way his hands effortlessly controlled his attacks, how his lips moved so fluidly when he talked and how his eyes had gazed so coldly and calculatingly at her with such cool superiority.

It was no longer an annoyance or a mild hindrance, Sakura had realised, but rather an _obsession_ that she had with the red-headed puppet master. Fed by the constant images from the fight of his flawless face and body, Sakura's mind came to know the object of it's obsession so well that it started to create it's own material. No longer did Sakura find memories of an overplayed battle in her dreams but, instead, alluring pictures and film clips of him - softly spoken words inviting her deeper into her secret sin. It _was_ secret of course - for who was she to tell about her delusions and fantasies?

_No-one,_ Sakura answered silently, her brow creased with the heavy load of secrecy, _because if they believed me what would they think? They'd think I was going mad or, even worse, I was a traitor with those kinds of thoughts! _

She couldn't lie there any longer, thinking thoughts that set her apart from the others and made her so sad. The night was cold but she was prepared to face it if just to punish herself for being so stupid to be taken in by his dark charms. It was somehow like Sasuke, wasn't it? Even if Sasori was nothing like Sasuke they were both dark, weren't they? Naruto may have kept on believing that Sasuke would come home with them eventually - but Sakura had given up on the idea a while ago now. Sasuke apparently lived for revenge but Sakura had realised the last time she'd seen him at Orochimaru's base that, even if he didn't know it himself, what he _really_ lived for now was power. He wouldn't be satisfied once he'd killed Itachi. He would never be satisfied now that the cold, determined hand of desire for power had gripped him so tightly. He would never return to Konoha.

'Sasori,' Sakura whispered, the forbidden word immediately lost on the cool wind funnelling past her. She hadn't been sure when she'd first left her sleeping bag where she was going to go, but now she was certain. It may be a traitorous obsession she had developed but she didn't see that there was anything she could do to stop it now so, instead, she indulged it.

The all too familiar cave whose roof had collapsed in on itself greeted her thirty to forty five minutes later - longer than she thought it would take coming here but the desert could be deceptive about distance at times. At least the wind had died down somewhat now she had reached the rockier part of the landscape. Below her was the river and then, beyond that, the entrance to the cave. She remembered entering and seeing him in that puppet form of his, next to his seated blonde haired member…and Gaara. She remembered the hate she had felt for them then - just how Naruto had hated them. Just how she _should_ have hated them. She didn't hate them now - or, at least, she didn't hate _him_ anymore. Unless she hated him for continuously haunting her - but she had killed him so it was natural that he would want revenge, right?

It didn't take her long to jump down into the roofless cave and, once she was inside, images and scenes from her memory came to the surface once more, reminding her or what she had done there less than six months ago. Why did she feel guilt for the death of an enemy when she should feel joy? She saw him everywhere - knew the battle so well that she could pinpoint where he had been standing at any given point and recall what his eyes had looked like, the amusement his lips had openly displayed or the power his being had exuded. Yet the images she saw, however real they seemed, were fake and she knew it. They were fleeting as well, never staying long although she knew his face now better than her own.

It wasn't a leap year that year and so Valentines day fell in the middle of the month. Tomorrow would be the middle of the month and Naruto would be giving her puppy dog eyes the whole day and being even more idiotic then usual as they continued their journey across the sandy desert plain, even though she'd tried to crush his hope so many times. It was simply impossible for her to fall for him when her mind was so fully occupied with someone else, even if she felt bad when she kept turning him away.

Still deep in thought, Sakura hadn't realised where she'd been walking but when she blinked back into reality she saw that she was standing where Sasori's body had fallen, stabbed by his 'parents' who were being controlled by his grandmother. After the battle she had excused his behaviour and his joining of Akatsuki by blaming it on his messed-up family, but now Sakura was scared to find that she no longer thought she needed to excuse his behaviour. Had she really changed so much? Had he really managed to destroy her deep set moral code even when he was dead?

'I'm going insane,' Sakura whispered to herself, glancing up at the stars again to see that the plough had passed over to the other side of the North star; that was how she measured time during the night - by following the plough in it's endless journey across the night sky. _How long have I been here?_ Sakura wondered in surprise. It must have been a while because it was already morning; if only just past twelve.

She thought about returning to Naruto but the thought did not appeal to her. Instead she sat down and silently caressed the area of stone where Sasori had once lain. His body was gone now - presumably cleared up by Sunagakure or another group from Konoha, hoping to find clues about Akatsuki on his person. His 'parents' were gone too - as were all his other puppets, and Sakura thought the place looked a lot different than before. She was used to seeing images of the battle, but this was the first time she had ever seen the open, rubble filled cave so empty and devoid of life. It gave it a cold, saddening atmosphere - as if it was trying to tell her that what she remembered of it was long in the past, that she was the only one still trying to desperately cling on to what little she had of that battle and of those memories. Perhaps the rocks were right. Perhaps she _was_ the only one left behind, her stubborn character refusing to let her move on from the guilt she felt.

A noise behind her made her hair stand on end but when she looked it was just a small bird flying up into a nearby tree. Presumably it was nocturnal, although she wasn't sure what type it was. Either way, it didn't help the fact that she was so jumpy all of a sudden. Perhaps she really should head back to Naruto. When she reluctantly stood up though and turned to face the way she'd come something made her freeze.

'Oh? Leaving already?' The voice was soft and, shielded from the wind by the rocks, clearly audible; 'But you haven't even said hello! How impolite of you.'

Sakura couldn't move and it wasn't the cold air that had frozen her in place. With anybody else she would have turned to face them, kunai in hand, asking for a fight, questioning their intent - but this was the exception to the rule; _he_ was the exception to the rule.

Why did dreams have to be so different from reality? In a dream she would have eagerly turned to gaze on him again. Perhaps she would have begged forgiveness and everything would have turned out right. How stupid had she been to think like that? Who would simply forgive you for killing them?

_That aside,_ Sakura thought rather numbly, _how come he _isn't_ dead? I definitely ki-killed him, right?_ It was shocking, and yet his voice had been too real to doubt. When he spoke in dreams the voice reverberated inside her head, but this time the voice had come from outside of her mind. From behind her, to be exact.

'Oh?' He laughed and she could hear that he had come closer since the last time. 'So you really _did_ think you'd killed me. I did wonder at your coming here.'

The hairs on the back of her neck had risen - did his presence really make her that cold, that scared? Was he going to kill her, like she had almost killed him? She needed to turn and face him. She needed to see how close he had come but she couldn't bring herself to look at him, not after her thoughts and dreams over the last six months. They had been bearable (allowable even), she realised, when he had been dead - but now he was alive they were shameful.

'How…why…h-how come you're alive?' Sakura finally managed to wonder, her voice shaky but nonetheless audible. As she said it she forced her stiff body to turn so that she was facing him, although she couldn't bring herself to actually look at him. Instead, she kept her eyes glued to the spot of ground just in front of his blue Akatsuki sandals; _is he still with the Akatsuki then?_ He was about a metre and a half away from her.

'Replacement technique,' he replied simply. 'I have plenty of spare hearts to use - so whilst you thought you'd pierced my heart you'd pierced another's. Mine was lying among the other puppets, waiting for me to collect it, so it didn't even get scratched.' Sakura could hear the pride in his voice and she felt as if he was somehow mocking her stupidity for thinking him to have been so weak and unprepared. She didn't think she liked that…yet she was inexplicably glad that he hadn't killed her, and that gave her reason to hope. _But hope for what, you silly girl?_ She berated herself moments afterwards.

His feet were still more than a metre away - he hadn't moved since she had turned to face him - and, weirdly, this gave her the courage to move her eyes upwards, tracing the closed, plain black cloak (_not Akatsuki then_) up to his pale, smooth neck and, finally, Sakura rested her gaze on his face. It was still flawless - where she had hit him looked as good as new and, again, the wood was smooth and pale. For he _was _still wood - that was certain. She had seen though, from their fight, that the wood was malleable - acting like human flesh but longer lasting, stronger and devoid of pain receptors. His hair naturally framed his face as before, the colour effortlessly captivating, but what caught her eyes the most were his eyes. The eyes were said to be windows to the human soul - but Sakura wasn't sure the rule applied to Sasori as his anatomy was different from those whom the saying originally referred to. Even so, they were mesmerising to her. She remembered them being very dark when she had last seen them - but perhaps that had just been the light because they were different from how she had then thought of them. Although still dark, the brown hue of his irides were now tinted with a shade of deep scarlet; a thin, faintly golden band framing his pupil.

'You look enchanted,' Sasori chuckled at her, effectively breaking the spell Sakura had been under as he blinked and she looked away, annoyed that she had been staring so noticeably. 'No really, I'm flattered,' he added, trying to be sincere, but Sakura could still hear the thinly disguised trace of amusement in his tone. She resolved not to look at him again but when she heard his footfalls slowly approaching her she found it impossible and so unwontedly glanced up at him again, stopping him in his tracks with the questioning glint in her eyes.

'Why are you here?' Sakura managed without stuttering although her voice still wasn't strong. It had been so long since she had fought him that there had to be a reason for him coming back. He certainly hadn't just 'woken up'.

'Hmm,' he replied as if thinking about it, 'I was going to ask you the same question.'

Sakura didn't miss the fact that he had avoided answering her but she found that she couldn't point it out or demand an answer because it would be as if challenging him - and, in her mind, he was far superior to her now. Instead she found herself speaking words she hadn't even considered mentioning;

'Do you know what day it is today?'

He looked away from her then, up at the stars as if working out whether one day had changed to the next yet. Glancing back at her quizzically he replied carefully, 'February the fourteenth. Why?'

Did he know why that day was significant? _Perhaps not_, Sakura thought as she stared into his curious eyes. Part of her wanted to shout at him; to ask him how, when he was so smart, he hadn't figured out how she felt about him. Yet she knew she wouldn't - _couldn't_ - because it was impossible for her to oppose him in any way. She both wanted him to know why she was here and didn't want it. What would he do if he found out?

_I have to tell him though_, Sakura decided heavily, swayed by the intenseness of his stare; _I have to tell him because he wants to know._

'Valentines Day,' Sakura whispered, averting her eyes from his. Wondering if he had heard her a few moments later though she repeated it a little louder; 'February the fourteenth - it's Valentines Day.'

For a minute there was silence and Sakura felt very foolish; why had she said that? What did it imply? Was Sasori going to pick up on the subtleties or did he think she was rambling - spewing nonsense with no relevance to anything?

'Hm. And am I supposed to take that as an answer as to why you're here?' His tone was still careful - not for _fear_ of her, Sakura imagined, but rather because he wasn't sure he understood her. 'Am I really to believe that you would willingly come to spend your Valentines Day _here_?' He was beginning to sound more incredulous than cautious now but Sakura still found that she couldn't reply for her desire to tell the truth was marred by her fear of the consequences.

She heard him approaching but, still guilt stricken at her avoidance of the truth and her knowledge of what the truth was, she found it impossible to move away from him. By the time he'd taken her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he'd managed to close the gap to less than two feet and Sakura's breath hitched in her throat at the closeness, the proximity. His touch was as cold as she'd imagined it being - the same temperature as the air around them - but she could feel the strength behind the firm hold, alluding to there being life in the smooth digits.

Her reaction was immediate, the unwanted blush at the contact making her face warm and flushed. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, knowing the realisation she would see there if she did, and instead her hand came up as if to defend herself, unthinkably swiping at his arm. His hold was surprisingly light because he let her go as soon as her hand touched his arm, allowing her to retreat backwards several steps, which made Sakura certain that he had let her go on purpose because she hadn't been particularly aggressive in her attempt to dislodge his hand.

_He knows,_ was all she could think, numb as she stood stiffly, her head bowed so she could try to forget that he was there. It was impossible to pretend though - because she could feel his presence as keenly as she could feel her own and it frightened her. Why had he come so close like that? Why had he touched her, making a connection she was sure would haunt her later? Why, why, _why_…?

He was silent for a long time - they both were - and Sakura considered running away, such was her shame and distress at the awkward atmosphere. Yet how could she even _think_ about giving up this opportunity? It was so unlikely that she would ever have another chance to see him again, to hear him speak or to feel his cold, intellectual aura. Even if she was endangering herself she realised that she had to stay - for she was haunted enough by her dreams at the minute as they were. To run now and never know what might have happened scared her more than the thought of her own death; for her obsession was such that she had begun to think it was worse than death.

'D-do you understand now?' Sakura ventured nervously, forcing herself to look at him and see what his reaction was. He was gazing at her with thoughtful eyes but at her words she saw him frown. Was he really that blind? She knew he was smart - so why was understanding this so difficult for him?

He moved so quickly then that Sakura had barely registered that he had vanished from in front of her when he appeared right behind her, his body so close that it completely shielded her from the slight breeze still present in the destroyed cave. An arm, his right, snaked around her torso soon afterwards, imprisoning her arms by her sides whilst his left arm positioned itself so that the hand was cupping her right cheek. Although she had her back to him so she couldn't see his beautiful visage Sakura was still flushed, the touch much more intimate than the last and their proximity even greater than before.

_What is he doing?_ Sakura internally panicked; _is he playing with me?_ She had no doubt that he understood her now - he would have to be a fool not to - so why was he enticing her and baiting her like this? Was it possible that he enjoyed the thought of her liking him? _Is it possible that he also l-likes _me_?_

'Hmm,' Sasori muttered disapprovingly, his breath warm against the back of her neck. It was the first warmth she had ever felt from him. 'Yes, I understand now.'

_So he was just testing me?_ Sakura wondered, confused, as he let her go. She turned to face him, expecting him to distance himself from her now he was certain of her feelings for him - but he didn't and she was left gazing at the dark fabric of his cloak. His eyes, when she finally raised her own to look, were glazed but, as if he felt her looking, he blinked back from his reverie to frown down at her. Really though he wasn't much taller than her; a centimetre or two at most.

'The nine tails is looking for you,' Sasori informed her almost conspiratorially and Sakura was surprised at how adversely she took the news; why did Naruto have to come now? Why did he have to come at all? She found him trying most of the time - but this was simply going too far. _I don't want to see him,_ she thought selfishly, the idea of returning to Konoha and her mission alien to her; _I don't want to lose Sasori now - even if I never really had him._

'You should go meet him,' Sakura heard Sasori advise a few seconds later, 'he's furious.'

The corner of his mouth was uplifted as if amused but Sakura thought she could hear the finality in his tone and it scared her. She knew the feelings weren't mutual but she didn't want to leave him anyway. Was that really so selfish?

'Don't go,' she pleaded, hating herself for how weak and needy she was. Had she been like this with Sasuke? How much he must have hated her! 'I don't want you to go,' she repeated but this time she nervously reached out a hand and placed it on his cheek like he had done to her. Why was it that it was still her who blushed and not him? It simply wasn't fair.

_But love isn't fair,_ she reminded herself sadly; _love isn't fair._

He chuckled again, openly amused, but before she could remove her hand, stung, he covered it with his own. 'Don't worry,' he told her playfully, removing her hand from his face but refusing to relinquish his hold on it; 'I'll be back.'

She expected him to leave then, vanishing into thin air like a dream or a mirage, but instead he brought his other hand up to gently grip her chin as before, raising her face so she was forced to look at him. Then in a voice that had somehow shaken off all of the flippancy and triviality of before he murmured, 'I haven't even started with you.'

It was a threat but Sakura didn't care anymore. It was only a matter of time before Naruto found them and, even though she believed Sasori was in earnest, she couldn't be certain she would ever see him again. Wanting to say something meaningful but words failing her, Sakura closed her eyes instead and, before she could change her mind, leant up to kiss him.

His lips were warmer than his hands were although still inhumanly cool and Sakura assumed that this was because his breath was warm - although again she tried not to think about his anatomy because it confused her. It was enough to simply feel the smooth, firm touch of his thin lips against hers; enough to know that, for just a moment, he was allowing it - condoning it.

She expected him to pull away and leave her then and she would have accepted it, simply pleased to have had a proper goodbye, but he didn't. The hand that had been clasping her chin slid up to cover her left cheek as he willingly responded to her timid caress, deepening the kiss as he pressed himself against her with a gentle intensity that both shocked and fascinated Sakura, keeping her riveted to the spot long after he released her.

Transfixed, Sakura could only watch as her first kiss' slim lips parted, his hands having long since dropped from her. 'Happy Valentines Day then,' he chuckled before he turned and jumped up from the rock to the edge of the top of the cave where the roof used to be. He hesitated for a moment there, turning back to give her a last captivating glimpse of his dark, red tinted eyes and crimson hair before disappearing out of sight, travelling away form the desert. Travelling away from _her_.

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Ok, finished. :)  
Well asides from being quite long (I can't physically write very short things so a oneshot was a challenge) I don't think that was too bad.  
In fact I like it, although I am writing this past midnight and I'm tired and should be in bed (but I wanted to get this out early morning on Valentines day UK time).

Anyway, what did you think? Any areas I could improve on? Specific likes/dislikes? It'd be great to hear from you so please review and feel free to PM me.:D

~WfCP xxx


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